Self perception and people perception

- Along my life I was always perceived by the surrounding people in a certain perception.
- From their perspective, Adel was incapable person, who is not trust-able to deliver and who has modest IQ and limited mental and even physical power and talents.
- I was always located at the edge of the picture frame if not outside totally the frame.
- This lack of confidence in my skills started early between the first surrounding inner circle which is the parents and continued to the close relatives till the surrounding community.
- No doubts, it has severely impacted my personality and my evolution.
- I was in continuous mode to prove to the "others" that I'm capable.
- When I think about my course of actions I can find only the proving to the others my capabilities as the only driver and motive of my actions and achievements.
- Failure meant the surrendering to their assessment and perception and the approving of their perception.
- I was determined to prove to them that they are wrong about me. I'm not that modest person who has thin mind or has lack of orientation in life or is not pursuing any major interest in his life.
- I learnt so much from these experiences.
- People are easily rushing to the judgement. Their assessments are rarely reliable and they depend on the very superficial appearance without exhausting their mind to explore the real potential of the persons.
- They tend to label the others with the easy to reach conclusions without thorough assessment and analysis of the hidden potential.
- I was totally surrounded by the all negative perceptions either from my parents, relatives, teachers and even the close friends.
- The one who has mean feelings was sarcastic and ironic and the one who was sincerely advising me was trying to convince me to accept my limited capabilities as a solid fact and leave with it and within its boundaries.
- Being ambitious about something beyond this apparent capabilities were not my right and were considered as a foolish act.
- Everybody was always questioning my skills and my intelligence.
- I've proven to them and importantly to myself that I can deliver.
- I'm a capable.
- I can deliver.
- I'm dependable.
- I will never question or doubt my capabilities any more whatever happened.
- Each failure was directly translated that I was not capable to do it.
- Now I'm more successful than the all other people who were in my jury and judging if I deserve to live or to "virtually" die by abandoning my dreams and self ambitions.
- I was always believing in my inner soul and deep inside me that this can't be my life path and this shitty disoriented life can't be my life. I was imagining myself in different world which is much better than the existing one.
- When I joined the faculty and my major they questioned my capabilities.
- When I failed they told me you were stubborn and we told you that you are not capable to go through this major and you have to change it to something within your skills.
- when I changed it they told me the whole faculty is beyond your skills. Go for more affordable faculty.
- I knew by this time that I've to go to a real battle with myself to prove to them and to myself that I'm capable to do it using the whatever means available.
- Each word of "advise" pushed me to be more determined and stubborn to continue in the path I've chosen.
- I continued and now after 10 years of finishing my major I 'm collecting my rewards of determination and self-confidence and enjoy the fruits of believing in my self.
- I wonder now how many talents have been killed because of this "assessors" or "assassins".